Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Older than I look, younger than I feel

This is a typical conversation I go through on a frequent basis when meeting new people:

Them: Aren't you grown up! So, got some GCSEs coming up soon, have we?

Me: Um... actually I already did those - a while ago.

Them: A-levels, then? Ooh, aren't they tough...

Me: Well, you know, those were a while ago too.

Them: Oh, are you at Uni then?

Not even. 

It's not easy to be continually mistaken for a teenager when you're decidedly the wrong side of 25, but it seems to happen to me with worrying regularity. It wasn't so annoying when I was late teens/early 20s but now it really pisses me off. And no, it's not down to my acne, cheeky. My softly-spoken voice probably adds to the ditzy, young overall impression and hey presto, it's patronise o'clock. 

So what can be done to look a bit more sophisticated and pull a smoke and mirrors job on their asses? I try to keep my wardrobe on trend but classic, so I like to wear skinny jeans and neutral coloured flats, because trainers only reinforce my youthful air. I never wear round neck jumpers or tops because that takes me into the tween zone which is horrendous. A little bit of chest really does the trick. Make-up can help too, and I like to use a bit of dark eyeshadow applied with a slanted eyeliner brush to add some much needed definition to one's eyes. Filling in yo' brows is an easy way to prettify without having to worry about a complicated eyeshadow design. The excellent Maybelline Master Shape brow pencil comes in at a mere £2.99 and apparently it's a brilliant dupe for the much more costly Mac Spiked pencil. Profitez, my friends. I like to wear my hair in a sleek up do because having it down has always looked awful on me, God knows why. I'm going to be big-headed and say that, yes, I do turn the odd young man's head, even with my chronic skin condition(s) and all the other flaws I am unafraid to chronicle indepth here. It feels weird that I do sometimes attract teenage boys' attention - eww, groty - but I'll take what I can get, thanks. If only they knew my real age, they'd be so freaked out! But luckily being IDed for such things isn't mandatory. It's quite funny that I am so young for my age still when certain other people I have slandered mentioned before are looking distinctly "mature" nowadays. Can't win 'em all, I suppose. ROFLMAO.

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