Pat that

So I have made many posts on here before detailing my own epic struggle with acne and tbh it's not easy to find (safe) products that actually do anything to keep the pesky boils at bay. Salicylic acid can be more irritating than a Real Housewives omnibus. Benzoyl peroxide became mysteriously and suspciously unavailable a few years ago. And Roaccutane...well. If inflammatory bowel conditions are your thing, it comes highly recommended. 

But personally I no longer wanted to take the risk of using these toxic chemicals for what is, after all, only a matter of vanity. Tea tree oil might be the safest option but I ended up abandoning it again because it is so itchy and only seems to make things worse. Anyway, time for my tip. It's 100% guarenteed safe and non-irritating as long as you do it correctly. It's basically free, it's supah easy, it's fricking everywhere. 

It's toilet paper. 

Don't scoff, this really works. I know it doesn't sound all that glam like Gwyneth Paltrow's weekly unicorn rainbow dust facial. But just try this for the next week. 

When you get up in the morning, take one unused sheet of Andrex's finest and gently dab away all the oily parts of your face. I know I always look like I've been rubbing bacon grease on my cheeks when I get up,and it's really refreshing to see my skin turn matte as if by magic. Next, wash and moisterise as normal, or whatever you do. Take another sheet of toilet paper and remove the oil again if needs be, then apply your makeup. Wait a few minutes and if it looks shiny already, gently press with a new sheet of paper again. You are now ready to leave the house. Or, in my case, turn on Jeremy Kyle. 

The oil may not show through for a few hours now but by afternoon it probably will. From this point on I pretty much blot my face every time I take a bathroom break. It's extremely easy and convenient to use a sheet of toilette papier after I've washed my hands and it instantly makes my makeup look perfect again. As the day goes on it does start to remove a bit of my foundation but it's perfectly easy to touch it up with it being so matte and clean. I continue blotting this way throughout the day and evening, right up until bedtime when I do it again before I remove my makeup. 

This is one habit that has completely changed the way my skin behaves and looks. My pores aren't exploding, I don't have massive new pimples every day - just the occasional small one - and my face feels much less heavy without all that disgusting grease on it. The simple act of removing the oil makes pores appear instantly smaller, and apparently the sooner you begin doing this, the better your skin will behave as you age and pores get naturally larger. 

If you are posh and toilet paper is a bit non-U in your world, then try a more ladylike tissue paper or even the proper blotting sheets. I like blotting sheets too - the Kleenex ones are the dream - it's just that when you excrete as much oil as I do, it would take about ten packets a week to do the job properly. They probably do a better job of getting rid of the oil but it seems to be a much more effective technique the more frequently you do it. So that's what is so good about toilet paper: it's there for you to use every time you take a time out and it won't cost you a penny. 

My laughter lines always looks extra bad when my skin is at its oiliest and removing the oil really hepls to make them look less pronounced. The only thing I would say is that you must be sure to press very gently with the tissue paper because it can make the skin a bit sore. You don't need to press hard at all; just pat very lightly. Please give it a try and your skin will start to look better within just a few days.

Safe alternative to benzoyl peroxide?

It's now a year since GlaxoSmithKline discontinued their mega popular acne treatment, Panoxyl Aquagel. (Read my infamous Liz Jones-style takedown here.) I thought my life was basically over because my acne would come back worse than ever before and there wasn't another benzoyl peroxide product on the market that I could use to keep the pesky bubonic boils at bay. Well, there is Quinoderm, but that's a disgrace. In the end, the acne did return pretty badly but for the most part it's been ok as long as I can use my foundtion and concealer to effectively cover it. There was a few months around October time when it was the worst it's ever, ever been, but that was due to a horrible bereavement I suffered. The spots were massive and horrendously painful but I suppose it was only a reflection of what I was feeling on the inside. Anyway, thankfully that seems to have calmed down now and my skin manageable. But of course I'm still quite spotty - sadly, I don't think it's ever going to go away now, it seems to be here to stay. 

It means I'm always on the lookout for a new acne product but there really aren't many available here in the UK. So I thought I'd give tea tree oil another shot. I always used to put it on my spots back in my teenage years but it never seemed to achieve much and stung like hell. This time I thought I'd use it just as I did the Panoxyl Aquagel, applying it to the whole affected area of skin as a preventative, not merely dabbing it on individual spots. It really works great like this and is keeping things under control. And all without those hideous harmful chemicals that do God knows what to the body! My skin is clearer in the morning and just feels healthier and smoother. Tea tree oil is only about £3 too, so even though it uses up quite quickly, it's nice and cheap to buy some more. I'm sold! Personally I use the pure oil with no problems but you may wish to use a diluted version. I put it on after my moisturiser which probably helps protect the skin from any burning sensation.

Super gentle (and cheap) routine for acne prone/sensitive skin

When you suffer from acne, the last thing you want to do is use anything irritating on the skin. In fact it seems that irritation is one of the main causes of acne. Any time I have used one of those really harsh "acne-busting" detergent cleansers - which resemble little more than handwash - my skin breaks out like crazy because it is so irritated. It would also leave my face feeling dry and tight, something I can't stand. You can't scrub acne away. Over-cleaning the skin won't prevent blemishes developing. It's only natural to want to deeply cleanse when you suffer from acne but unfortunately it doesn't help. On the flip side, my skin improved in leaps and bounds when I started using an extremely gentle cleansing method. A mild, water-soluble cleanser helps reduce oily skin and acne without making your skin feel dry and tight. Here's the skincare routine I've been using for a while, and my acne and sensitivity issues have improved about 60%, I would say.

Cleanser: Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser (£8-ish)

Plain white gel that is lightly stroked over the face, then removed with a hot cloth. It leaves my face comfortable, soft and clean, and takes my makeup off just fine, contrary to what others say. I highly doubt I'll ever use anything else!

Special treatment: La Roche-Posay Thermal Spring Water (£6-ish)

This refreshing spray gives the skin a shot of antioxidants in its purifying spa water. Ok, it might sound like hokum but I can attest that it's very soothing and smoothing, and after a week of using it twice a day my skin felt different - amazingly so, in fact. It aborbs very quickly and tones down redness like magic. If you have sensitive skin, this might just be the product that surprises you. 

Moisturiser: Cetaphil Moisturising Lotion (£8-ish)

This is a lightweight lotion that always makes my face feel peachy and plump, and creates a lovely smooth base for foundation. It's noticable how much better I look with this on, simply because it makes my makeup glide on. Some people find it greasy, although I don't. (Liz Earle Skin Repair Light, a product I inexplicably used for years, is a different story!) I personally find it absorbs very easily, but if you find yourself feeling oily before maekup, try using a powder-free shine-absorbing sheet to ensure a better application and a matte finish. To me, the Cetaphil moisturiser is a unique product and it never fails to amaze me how soft and silky it makes the skin feel, in a way nothing else does. I haven't found anything else like it and it performs incredibly highly.

I'm not sure how long the Thermal Water Spray lasts because I only recently started using it, but I have been using the Cetaphil products for a good few years now and I know that I only buy about two bottles of the cleanser per year, while the moisturiser outlasts its use-by date! So this is a very purse-friendly routine and one that has improved my skin no end. Other than a few slightly nasty chems in the Cetaphil products it is mostly free of dangerous ingredients, too. I recently decided that I'm never going to use any more risky synthetics to get rid of my acne - benzoyl peroxide, salicylic acid etc. - it simply isn't worth it for vanity! A gentle regime like this improves my skin just enough for me to be happy with it - without doing anything harmful to my body. I think it's great and I hope you like it too. (~_^)

Can salicylic acid make acne worse?

So as I regaled in my post concerning those shady acid skin peels on eBay, S/S13 saw my acne become the worst it has ever been. All vanity aside, it was the pain that really bothered - an aspect of acne that is totally overlooked, in my opinion. I was getting huge blind boils that were simply agonising, as well as many impossible-to-squeeze whiteheads. Every single day a new batch would pop up. To be frank, my skin was a red raw, swollen mass of acne legions. All very embarrassing in the strip-lit days of high summer, the hottest, steamiest one the UK has experienced for decades.

We are always being told what a magical ingredient salicylic acid is for acne, so I thought I was helping matters in liberally plastering on Neutrogena's Visibly Clear Spot Stress Control Hydrating Spot Treatment highly-rated at frequent intervals. Only...my acne was getting worse and worse. Every night time bathroom perusal was a horror show that often left me in despair. Until one day I thought, that's it, it must be the salicylic acid gel. Yep, I know. No flies on me. 

Anyway, within three days of me cutting it out, my skin was noticably better, everything was much less angry and sore, and generally gave me one less thing to worry about. I have zero idea why this product seemed to work brilliantly for a year or so, then started to cause all sorts of horrible problems. I suppose salicylic acid is bound to be irritating by its very nature - it goes right into the pore lining, exfoliating inside and outside, unlike other sorts of acid products.

The moral is, if you feel like something is causing your skin harm, stop using it. Even if something is touted as being a wonder ingredient for acne, it might not be right for you.

Warning: avoid eBay acid skin peels at all costs

You know when you impulse buy something really silly, then sit guppy-mouthing at it like an apocolypse zombie? Maybe it's being stuck in a heatwave I can only refer to as Trappuccino, but that's exactly what I did this week. The humidity has made my acne go from the quiet, weird lodger kind to the "I'm here and I'm queer" Asbo sort in a swift, messy coup. Panicked, I thought: "What I need is salicylic acid and lots of it", but with choices of such products being few and far between, I ridiculously ended up on eBay. What an idiot. 

When you search for salicylic acid on there, numerous products come up and I picked the first that did so, calling itself a skin peel. I thought that was just fine because I didn't want to use anything on my whole face, merely to spot treat the really nasty bastards - you know, the ones I'm scared people will Twitpic? Anywho, I admit information was a bit...economical, but they promised it was "made from only high quality ingredients, genuine concentrations, superior quality, introductory offer for a limited time!!!!1!" etc. Ok, I admit it, I should be made to take a special test before I can buy anything on eBay because I always fall for their ludicrous claims. Get me some sales patter immunity serum, stat. 

Nevertheless, and with one eyebrow firmly cocked in suspicion, I plodded on and bought the 5%. When I got the bottle the very next day, with instructions, let's just say it didn't exactly scream "pharmaceutical grade". It was more of the "poured into a Poundworld plastic bottle on the kitchen table" variety. I should have known it was seriously dodge when the instruction leaflet calmly stated: "Our 30% concentration is medical grade and should only be administered by professionals." Then why the hell are you selling it on eBay? It also stated that besides the alleged 5% of salicylic acid - who is even going to prove that? - the other ingredients were isopropyl alcohol and glycerine. Alcohol. It is my personal policy to never, ever use alcohol on my face. Take a look at how terrible it is for your skin - it causes cells to die for one thing. 

Anyway, for reasons of blogging integrity, I thought I must try out this junk and give it what no black man ever got: a fair trial. I sacrifice so, so much for you, Bossy Thing. With some trepidation, I took the bull by the horns. I do it all for you, dear reader. They recommended applying it with some fanbrush but I thought, Hell to the N-O. This pizza face needs every drop. So I opened it and got a little dab on my finger and...lawd. You know the stuff people use to clean blades and electrical components? Yeah? METHS? Yes, pretty sure this was meths, or something very similar, parading - rather unconvincingly - as a cosmetic formula. And I was about to put it on my face. That's one step away from toning with Cilit Bang or nail varnish remover - in fact, hold that thought because this here lists all the sort of things that routinely contain isopropyl alcohol, and it ranges from industrial metal cleaners AKA meths to car polish and antifreeze, and - oh look - nail varnish remover. Would you knowingly put nail varnish remover, or acetone, on your face? I don't think so. You might rinse this peel off after 2-3 minutes but gosh darn. This was a "genuine concentration" of neat alcohol all right.

So there I was; I very carefully dabbed a tiny drop onto my chin. Ouch. Instantly it was tingling, stinging, burning... That's because such a high concentration of pure alcohol stimulates the nerve endings, making the skin go red because it is being burnt. Don't be fooled into thinking that tingling means you can really feel a product working - it is your skin freaking out because you are casuing it serious harm! I lasted about a minute with it on my skin and I could feel the burn for hours after. But what do you really expect if you put meths on your face? The ironic thing was, I also came up in spots on that area - the very thing these eBay sellers tell you it will magically cure. That's because the alcohol dries the hell out of skin, conversely stimulating the pore into producing way more oil.

If I haven't yet convinced you and you are still determined to go ahead with a skin peel you bought on eBay, this is the Cosmetics Cop advice on doing peels at home:

We cannot stress enough how potentially dangerous these peels can be. If they're as effective as claimed or if they really contain the amount of acid(s) advertised and the pH is within range for them to work, you could be setting your skin up for some serious damage. In the wrong hands or used incorrectly or too often, at-home peels can cause burns, extremely sensitive skin, discolorations (from loss of pigment), and persistently dry, flaky skin that doesn't respond to even very rich moisturizers. If you decide to ignore our warnings and try this anyway, proceed with caution.

If someone came at you and threw acid in your face you would probably be devastated, so don't willingly mess with dangerous chemicals like this. It could leave you with terrible scarring. More than 1,300 people have sadly already bought the "peel" formula I did and if they are not as cynical as I am, they might have since done some terrible, irreparable damage to their skin. Don't fall for it. Try one of these topical commercial BHAs - they are safe and work a million times better.

To give a brief re-cap, using one of these products - which are little more than neat alcohol - is likely to:

• sting and burn, possibly leaving you with chemical burns
• make your skin peel off in strips - it is not safe for any at-home product to cause this
• make your skin oilier - causing more acne
• damage your skin's protective barrier layer, leaving it sensitised.

 Some of the self-proclaimed "brands" I urge you to avoid on the UK eBay include, among many others:

• Juvais
• MTY London
• Forever Young / Active Solutions
• British Institute of Skin

They are not to be trusted and I am amazed that what they do is legal. They knowlingly omit to mention in the product's description that the solution is alcohol-based - and if there is any salicylic in there at all it is probably negligible. I imagine that, unlike commercial cosmetic companies, they don't have to abide by strict regulations, if any at all.

What I'm saying goes for all the acid peels for sale on eBay - AHA, BHA, lactic, whatever. Don't do it.

While I am tempted to lobby Parliament to rid eBay of these dangerous, unlicenced products, I will instead take the more measured approach of telling eBay themselves to outlaw it. Please do the same. In the mean time, I am going to get a refund for this terrible product - having just about refrained from giving it to my brother to clean his chainsaw with.

Lush products are awful dot com

Sometimes I feel like the only person in the world who doesn't want to french Lush Cosmetics. A perfunctory search of ye olde internette, however, informs me that I am far from alone in my disregard for them. Don't you just love it when that happens? Nothing like a good hate read. Anyway, the number of Lush fanatics out there is scary - FYI apparently they call themselves "Lushies" which sounds so Jessi Slaughter it's hilar. Such is their wild-eyed devotion to bath bombs, I hear they go absolutely nuts if anyone dares say a bad word about their precious Lush, like some kind of Belieber/animal rights activist hybrids. Put your balls on chill, bitches, because it's 'bout to get real ugly up in this post. Mais oui, blogs abound with sycophantic "reviews" of enorm caskets hampers of those stinky Lush things and YouTube gurus - now there's a stupid word - positively rave about them. It's all lost on me, I'm afraid, so shove the sales patter up your arses. Been there, don't it, got the face rash.

Lushies, take a rasping, shallow breath, because you're going to h8 me. I HATE Lush products. They stink. They look like a 5-year-old made them in their sandpit. I would rather douse myself in industrial cleaning fluid than ever use one again - I'd probably have less of a reaction. I first heard of Lush yonks ago when I got a box of their bath things as a Christmas present. You know the kind - the ones that look like Play-doh. ALL OF THEM, in other words. Lurid colours, idiotic names and sweet, icky smells were very much the order of the day. I discreetly shut the box tight and put it to one side until I felt strong enough to actually throw one in my bath. Well, reader, much like your last boyf they fizzed very briefly and left me with nothing at all other than perhaps a lingering sense of shame. At £5 a pop. Blow me. Doesn't sound like much of a business model but it works for them - Mark Constantine, the twatty, gypsy-loving head honcho, is said to be worth a couple of hundred mill. Cushti job. I continued to use the bath things very infrequently and each time was left with slight patches of eczema in delicate places, as I am prone to after using something very harsh in the bath. Yes, Lushies, very harsh. My mum found exactly the same thing and she can use way more things than I can without getting a reaction. Because here's the thing: the whole "we're so pure and natural" vibe is rendered totally erroneous when you look at the ingredients. Parabens, perfume, sulphate. Very sheety, non? 

The thing that really turned me against them, though, was this pretend newspaper thing, the Lush Times, that I still get sent a couple of times a year. It's really annoying and God do I know annoying. It's got 5000 of the rubbish plasticine bath things presented by non-gender specific emplyees and a mahoosive selection of other skincare products. As in things you put on your face. I should have known but in my younger naive days I was extremely susceptible to a bit of the old sales patter - AKA lies. "This will cure my acne? This will stop my hair being greasy? £5 postage on top? Yes please, mister!" I trilled as I sent away my order form. Oh dear. I think the first one I tried was the Aqua Marina one. £6, thank you very much - chalk it up. I believed with all my little heart that it would make the acne go away but lawd. I've never had a reaction like that, even from Benzoyl Peroxide 5 twice daily. Do the words bumpy, itchy, cystic mess bring the image to life? No? Try Elephant woMan. Oh-em-gee. It drove me mad, because I so wanted it to work but after only two days I was forced to give up. What the heck do they put in there, itching powder? Not that it put my zeal to bed. After reading the amazing claims about the Fresh Farmacy cleanser in the Lush Times - God, that sounds douchey - I happily ordered away and tried again with that. Ping! £5 p+p not inc. Same reaction. Acne worse. Really quite farcical. Too angry for verbs. I think my little brain realised for sure at that time that Lush products were decidedly no bueno but that didn't stop someone buying me a new batch of them the next Xmas - relatives, eh? Can't keep 'em down. These included the Mask of Magnaminty which absolutely promised to get rid of that darned acne but by now a pattern and formed and my DNA simply refused to accept any contact with Lush. LOL. This disgusting gritty paste is like something your dad would use to pebble dash the house - I mean really, what is it? Colgate and gravel? It has the most awful synthetic fragrance and is pretty much no good for anything - least of all acne. I went on to try a solid shampoo - "Mummy! Mummy! I feel dirty" - and a "revolutionary" solid deoderant. A smelly time was had by all. Overall my point is that Lush products are very expensive and not up to scratch. The packaging, which like the rest of this harebrained brand they clearly believe to be highly subversive, is a disgrace. That's the truth but unfortunately a lot of people are blinded by the eco tactics. 

The best thing about Lush is that they test on willing human specimens rather than rubbing their stuff in some poor bunny's eye, but apparently some animal testing stunt they pulled last year was so sick it made all this feel a bit hollow. I think I might also have read that they are a little bit sparse with the truth because they do test individual ingredients on animals. Or maybe that was The Body Shop? Can't remember, sorry. Put down your hatchets, Lushies.

As a side note, it always amuses me to think of conversations being brought to a very unhappy end when people say: 

-OMG I love your perfume! What is it?
-Gorilla...by Lush

I know they're hippies but now they're just being SILLY.

Shine bright... but not like that

Sorry to sound like a douchebag but I was so happy when I saw this Instagram pic of two of my favourite people in the whole world, Rihanna and Cristiano Ronaldo, whose very name gets me excitied. When I read the comments on the Sun website, though, alongside all the predictable sniping were many people bitching about Cris's shiny face. Well, it wasn't a crime the last time I checked and it's hardly a big deal, is it? If you want to pick on something, his hair would be a good place to start IMO. Anyway, if you've ever been caught in a similar oily pictorial debacle, take solace: there are things, magical things, that mattify in a jiffy. If only Ronnie had put a little packet of Kleenex Shine Absorbing Sheets in his manbag, he would've been camera ready for RiRi. I only got some of these for the first time the other day and my God, they are amazing. All I do is pat one over my oily chops midday and ping! Dat shine gone. It soaks it all up and doesn't disturb my make-up. ¡Excelente! So much better than adding more powder and it's got to help reduce acne and make pores smaller because it removes so much nasty oil. They are brilliant and I plan to invest in shares. I also have the Palladio Rice Paper oil blotting tissues and as these are coated with powder on one side, they are great for when you are in a rush and didn't have time to powder. Just wait a while for foundation to dry before you use them. It's amazing how different your face looks when it's perfectly mattified and I didn't realise how much it would improve the look of my skin. Here's to never being a shiny mess again!

Scarred

So, as I have described in florid detail in previous posts, I have suffered from pretty bad cystic acne for yonks now - 10 years to be specific. When it was really at its worst and I was getting at least one new red, painful lump every day without fail, I was in so much distress about it that the only thing I could think was that I wanted it gone right now and didn't feel too concerned with the future because I was so preoccupied with its severity. And it wasn't for quite a long time, on a ultra bright summer's day, that I caught sight of my reflection in a window and was horrified to discover big, deep scars on the fleshy parts of my cheeks. I was so, so upset, and it really felt like a worse kick in the gut than even the acne itself. I hadn't noticed the scars before because I only really look at my face in a magnifying mirror and they aren't very apparent at all in that, silly as it sounds. So yes, this acne has left behind a greasy, red, pockmarked hide I struggle to recognise as my own. Nowadays I look back at my childhood photos in awe at the smooth, creamy skin that used to be mine. 

Anyway, I started obsessing about what, if anything, I could do about these awful scars. There is no useful info in the UK media about this sort of thing - try Bio Oil and eat more zinc is the usual advice - and the internet can be such a minefield of misinformation when it comes to anything medical. I perused tons of rubbish about lemon juice, honey, vitamin E capsules... Then one day I was on iTunes looking up random podcasts and that's how I first heard of Paula Begoun and her brand Paula's Choice. I know she has her detractors who think it's ridiculous to review products while selling her own, but she still gives way better skincare information than anything here in the UK. Her podcasts that I found that day are really good and I've listened to so many of them. If you like an honest take on make-up and skincare, they are for you. Someone called in and asked the exact question I wanted to, what could they do about their terrible acne scars. And Paula said there is nothing available on the shelf that will help, the best thing is to save up for a Fraxel treatment. But she added that the only thing you can try is to use a BHA or salicylic acid product. Being a poor urchin, I decided to do just that and thank God, after just over a year of using one, my skin has improved so much, I doubt most people would even notice that there are scars. There is still a bit of an indent but when I have my make-up on it looks very smooth. The salicylic acid works wonders to smooth away the tough outer layer of skin so the soft under layer is revealed. If I stop using my BHA product for a few days the scars do start to become noticeable again, so it is something I will probably have to keep using for the rest of my days. No bad thing, because it makes my skin look very youthful and healthy anyway as a bonus to improving the acne scars. The BHA product I have been using all this time is one I mentioned in another post, the Neutrogena Visibly Clear Spot Stress Control Hydrating Spot Treatment as it is known in the UK, and at only £3-4 it is a very economical buy. Sadly it seems to have been discontinued in the US and I think it's going to be here so grab 'em while you can :( That is about the only cheap, readily available BHA I have found in the shops - when or if I can no longer get hold of it, I will probably buy a Paula's Choice one online, but they are quite expensive, in the £20-30 region plus p+p. Ouch. I expect they last for ages and are meant to be so good, with no fragrance or nasties, so I will stretch to that price when the time comes. The improvement in my very scarred and angry skin makes me never want to be without this miracle ingredient ever again and I want to personally thank Paula for such an invaluable piece of advice.

Acne diary update with Quinoderm 5 review bonus

Is anyone interested in the very drawn-out acne saga that has become the overtone of my life for the last ten years? This is a blog after all where self-absorption is all the rage... Anyway, since being forced to starve my acne-ravaged skin of the magical potion Panoxyl Aquagel 2.5 things have been, in turn, bumpy, sore, red, itchy, volcanic - many unpleasant adjectives in fact. Which is exactly what I knew would happen. It really does put me in a bad mood rage when the status of my menstrual cycle is being broadcast in a very obvious way over the flesh of my once cherubic cheeks. I think it's about a month now since the Panoxyl well ran dry and I've had about three really awful cystic nightmares which swell my face up to a ridiculous degree. They are agonisingly painful and sadly the only thing they achieve is forcing me not to go anywhere or do anything. Hallelujah for funemployment is all I can say. Honestly I don't think I could face the gen public with an enormous carbuncle on the rise. There is really no amount of concealer I can use to even begin to disguise a great big shining boil - apologies for the visuals - and the thought of people looking, noticing - heaven forbid Twitpiccing - makes me want to vom. Farking hell, I've found myself thinking most days. 

I have been using Quinoderm 5 off and on over this time but I am far from <3ing it. I hate the petrolly smell for one thing, and for the last few days it has really stung then burned when I've applied it. Slightly worrying. I only put it on on really bad days, as a last resort, grasping for it like a plague victim as I am captivated in outrage at the bathroom mirror. I must admit that it does stop things getting really out of hand so that's nice. But yeah, it stings + it stinks which really sucks. It's crazy that the instructions tell you to put in on 2-3 times a day - Jesus, Mary and Joseph you'd be in A&E with chemical burns after a few days of that. I'm thinking now that it might help if I remove a lot of the oil that seeps out unrelentingly and the Kleenex Shine Absorbing Sheets have caught my eye so I will try those and see if that helps. It's disappointing that my skin hasn't improved at all since before I started using the Panoxyl in '10 (not 1910, you rude pig) - I still get a couple of whiteheads every day and I find those really annoying because they are fairly neat and contained as whiteheads, then when I pop 'em (soz) I'm left with a swollen, red, weeping mess (oh God, way worse...). I have found that putting aloe vera gel on really helps with this and it makes for quite a smooth make-up slathering after. The cystic ones are a different matter though - usually they do come to a head after a few days and can be squeezed, even though it's so painful I almost puke every time. It releases the pain somewhat but makes the site of the beast turn purple and black which is hideous but how could anyone walk around with a whitehead like that on their face? So yeah, the acne situ has been up, down, back up - mainly up TBH... what a horrible affliction it is :(

Acne is hackneyed

Having suffered from what I would describe as moderately severe cystic acne for over ten years now, I thought I had got used to the shock and pain this horrible condition has cursed me with. But no, it's not done with me yet.

Three years ago I found the perfect, cheap routine which finally returned my skin to something approaching an acceptable state. I cleansed and moisturised with the excellent Cetaphil products then dabbed on Panoxyl Aquagel 2.5 to the problem areas every few nights. I also introduced the Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Stress Control 3-in-1 Hydrating Acne Treatment* every other night, a silky, light gel BHA which takes off the nasty top layer of skin, and leaving smooth freshness by morning. It was a gentle, highly effective routine just right for my ultra-sensitive skin. Applying the low-strength, light Panoxyl gel only a few times a week meant I avoided the dry, red, itchy mess you can get with frequent application of the higher strength Benzoyl Peroxide products.

 *Apparently this product, the only thing keeping me vaguely clear now, has also been discontinued in America, so I imagine it will be here soon as well. I'll just have to hoard it. These cosmetic industry guys love to __ck with our minds.

It was a routine I was perfectly happy with and for the first time since becoming an adult I could do what I wanted, go places, looking people in the eye with my head up, because I didn't have "acne anxiety" to worry me. People stopped doing the "My God, is that a carbuncle on her face?" 10 second stare, which was nice. This was a skincare routine I knew I would be faithful to for years.

But sadly the pharmaceutical industry does not hold us in the same esteem. When I went to order a new tube of the Panoxyl the other day, it was with horror that I discovered it has been - I shudder to type this word - discontinued. Last year. My God, I wanted to cry, and I think I did - a little, later, when I imagined all those awful, painful lumps popping back up within days. The thought of having to return to the dark old days of red, purple and yes, sometimes even black cystic volcanos had me shook. Especially now I am a fully fledged young woman. It was slightly more acceptable in my late teens. But now? I ain't feeling it.

Anyway, a lengthy perusal of Acne.org message boards [WTH is "the regimen" and WhoTH is Dan?] left me in no doubt that Panoxyl is well and truly discontinued, at least for the foreseeable future. Something about the rotten Irish economy, a factory being saved at the last minute and, at the centre of it all, that gosh darned GlaxoSmithKlein who reviewed the situation - nothing better to do like cutting products that don't work, ya pricks? - and decided that for "commercial" reasons it is no longer viable to produce the necessary chemical. Well throw me over a barrell and bugger me backwards. Commercially viable? I highly do believe that these are the same people who have allowed Panoxyl to retail, p+p usually inc, at a mere £3 thereabouts. £3. Why on earth didn't they bump it up to the £10-15 region? Win-win for them, the fat cats, and us, the acne-cursed proles, because did I not mention yet that here in the UK [United Krapdom] Panoxyl Aquagel was the only product of its kind? Yep, 'tis so. In fact, Benzoyl Peroxide products seem to have all but disappeared here in recent times. Even Oxy, who hawked BP for as long as I can possibly remember, as though it were the purest moutain dew, have gone all "organic seaweed" on us. Organic seaweed? My cystic carbuncles would heartily laugh at that.

I imagine Benzoyl Peroxide has sort of been unofficially banned, or at least made extremely taboo in the pharma world; something to do with the cancer rumours and the realisation that perhaps it isn't such a good idea to rub bleach into your face after all. Why else is it so difficult to get hold of any more? The only Benzoyl Peroxide product I have managed to get, very unwillingly, is Quinoderm 5. A quick scan of its ingredients tell me it is E45 with BP added. Har har. Good one, guys. You trolling me? Why anyone would think liquid paraffin is a good ingredient for an acne cream is beyond me. The whole thing looks straight out of the 80s. I have yet to use it, because I've heard it's so crappy, and with the whole cancer thing I've decided to go cold turkey on BP for a while. If things get really bad I have the Quinoderm for emergencies. I can already see the difference in my skin after a week of not using, it's sort of bumpy and angry looking, like it's really brewing up something awful for me. But I guess I'll have to learn to live with it. Live with the pus and the stares. Yay! I feel so free.

There is one other OTC treatment widely available here called Freederm. I believe it is a deriviative of Vitamin B under the commercial name Nicotinamide, also known in America as niacinamide. Many moons ago I used this product for yonks with what I would call "shit" results. I don't think I had one morning of waking up and thinking "Ooh I look so much better today!" like the girl in the advert. Freederm? More like serfdom, thanks.

Back to the main tale. One of the Acne.org users told everyone to email GSK and really pressure them into reinstating our Aquagel. Yeah, like a mega corporation is scared of a bunch of spotty teenagers, but anyway. I did email and put on the whole "I'm shocked and disgusted and I've been crying all night" kind of tone, and a few days and several more incumbent acne legions later, I received a nice, if officious, reply from the lovely Sandy:

Dear Madam,

Thank you for your email regarding the availability of PanOxyl Aquagel.

We are sorry that you have been unable to find your usual PanOxyl® products. We are currently experiencing a disruption in the production of the PanOxyl® range of products. The disruption is due to GSK Consumer Healthcare’s review of its manufacturing support and product portfolio which resulted in a limited number of brands requiring some short term manufacturing and licencing updates, including PanOxyl.

We know how important PanOxyl is for our customers and can assure you that a dedicated team is working hard to bring these products back to the shelf as quickly as possible. As of now, given the complexity of the manufacturing and regulatory processes, we intend to resume supply of PanOxyl 5 Aquagel 5% w/w Gel and PanOxyl 10 Aquagel 10% w/w Gel to UK stores later this summer. We are sorry for any inconvenience this disruption has caused and will continue to provide updates on product availability and new information as it becomes available. In the meantime, please speak to your GP or pharmacist for advice on alternative treatment options.

So all's well that ends well. Panoxyl will maybe, possibly, be back in its stronger forms. Breathe easy. To conclude I want to say that the information we get about acne here in the UK is extremely poor, and now the right products aren't even available to us. The options for treatment we get are pathetic. Brothers and sisters of America, with your plentiful supplies of drugs and chemicals, free to put anything you like on your face, think of us.